Friend or a pretend friend:
“People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel”- Maya Angelou
Friends are a highly misunderstood species. We often take them casually and have the wrong notion that “friends” do not warrant respect.
There is a great deal of mismatch between words and action, which shows the absence of sincerity.
Below are some examples where the mismatch will be clearly understood.
What a friend says vs what it actually means.
Do you remember when a friend said they would call, but then didn’t: Why get serious with friends?
The casual “let’s meet” that never happened: You just say that do not mean it. Friends after all. Why mean what we say! No big deal!
Your friend says, "I will be there when you need me", and you cannot find that person: Friends have a life to catch up with. They cannot be available, even when you need them urgently, they have their priorities set.
Your friend invites you and says, "Meet me at 6 p.m. at the cinemas" and comes an hour late: Why come on time when it is not a business meeting!
You share your downs with your friend and your friend says, "Why are you always so negative? Enjoy life": Friendship always means having fun, nothing serious, whatever it is, just laugh it out!
You are often called out for being different from your friend. Your friend often tells you, "Come to the party, and be like us": You need to be like them. Birds of a feather flock together.
Your friend always complains, "Why don't you use social media? We can't reach you": Because that is the only cool and easy way to connect.
You are upset and have cried your heart out to a friend. Your friend says, "All will be okay, just get over it": And done. Your friend has helped!
And so on and so forth.
Respect and friendship:
Now, seriously think about it. Are you not taking them for granted? Are you really treating them with respect? Or, do you believe that friends are not meant to be respected?
Sorry to burst your bubble. FRIENDS HAVE TO BE RESPECTED. You might have heard people often say "DOSTI MEIN SAB CHALTA HAI". (loosely translates to anything and everything is allowed in friendship)
Well, it is not the correct attitude to have about friends. You cannot just do anything you want, to your friends. This attitude is not sustainable at all.
We have to change the "DOSTI MEIN SAB CHALTA HAI" attitude.
What we need to do instead is treat them with respect and not take them lightly.
Respect in Friendship:
True friendship is based on mutual trust, respect and understanding. When friends treat each other with respect, they are more likely to be supportive of each other, and their friendships are more likely to last.
When you give your friend a time to call or meet, always try to stick to the time. If not, make sure you inform your friend of your inability to do so, in advance. (Basic courtesy)
Everyone's time is precious. You gotta respect it and not just assume that your friend won't mind. Irrespective of what your friend thinks, you gotta do it.
By respecting your friend’s time, you are showing them that you value the friendship and care about their priorities as well.
When you hear something unfortunate about your friend, reach out to them at the appropriate time. This means giving them space if they need it, but also letting them know that you are there for them if they want to talk.
When you see that your friend is miserable, it is important to check in on them, follow up. It shows you care. (Following up is not limited to sales and marketing alone). This way your friend will feel a lot better.
Do not expect your friend to change for you. Everyone is not the same. People are who they are, and if you care and love your friend genuinely, you will accept them for who they are as a person, flaws and all.
Trying to change your friend’s personality to suit your own will only lead to frustration and resentment.
Most importantly, if you do not feel a connection, it is important to be honest about it. Do not use your friend for your own personal gain.
It is also important to admit mistakes and apologize sincerely. This shows that you care for them and are willing to take responsibility for your actions.
Fun and frolic, party and clubbing, playing pranks, everything can be enjoyed but with respect always in mind. Respect your friend!
Show your friend, you care!
Imagine how much more fulfilling our friendships would be if we treated each other with respect and followed basic etiquette.
We can build profound connections through mutual respect and genuine care.There would be less loneliness, stress and anxiety.
There should be no place for pretense. Friendships are not meant to be mere transactional, but rather should be deep and meaningful, that can enrich our lives in countless ways.
We are social animals, and we need connections with other people to thrive. So why not be sincere and treat each other with respect and kindness that we all deserve?
IT IS HIGH TIME TO SHOW SOME LOVE AND MEAN IT.
Sucheta
Disclaimer: I am not an expert or a professional in the field of mental health. This writing is based solely on my experience and observation, and it is not intended to be a substitute for professional advice. If you need help with mental health issues, please contact a qualified professional.
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